(* first best until deposed by the invention of Kettle Smores.)

Necessity is the mother of invention. There we were. The campfire was roaring, darkness had set in, and the park gates were closed for the night. Our dinner recently digested, it was time for desert. Time for Smores. We pulled the ingredients out of the camper.

Chocolate?  Check.
Marshmallows?  Check.
Graham Crackers? … Graham Crackers? …

Noooooooo! We forgot the Graham Crackers!

A second rummaging turned up only one possible substitute: Ritz Crackers. At first this sounded absurd. But as desire turned to desperation, we reconsidered. Ritz Crackers are salty; everything else in a Smore is sweet. Salty with sweet? Wait a minute. That usually works, doesn’t it? Peanut & jelly, sea-salted caramels, Coke and potato chips, bacon-wrapped figs, chocolate freaking covered pretzels — all figure prominently in culinary tradition. Come to think of it, what about the second best salty-sweet thing every invented*: Kettle Corn?

This wasn’t a disaster, this was an opportunity. We pulled several Ritz Crackers from their flaxen sleeve of golden goodness, started roasting marshmallows, and never looked back. In fact, we almost never use Graham Crackers for smores any longer. Ritz are the way to go.


Want to make your own Kettle Smores? Here’s what you need:

  • Marshmallows. We especially recommend Kraft Jet-Puffed Marshmallows. Get the regular size ones (about 1″ on a side), not the minis or the jumbos.
  • Chocolate bars. We especially recommend Hershey’s Milk Chocolate Bars, without nuts.
  • Ritz Crackers.
  • Marshmallow roasting sticks. We especially recommend a stick. Like one you pick up off the ground and maybe sharpen with a pocket knife.
  • Campfire.


Break off a piece of chocolate and stage it on a Ritz Cracker. Keep another cracker handy to complete the sandwich. Brown or burn one marshmallow to taste. While the marshmallow is still hot and gooey, carefully pull it off the stick and place it along with the chocolate between the two crackers. Squeeze the resulting cracker sandwich until the marshmallow starts protruding from the sides.You’ve made your fist Kettle Smore. Eat it using whatever technique works best for you, but be prepared to lick your grubby camping fingers. Repeat. Warning: Keep count of how many you consume, or you might regret it the next day.

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